


A Lifelong Commitment

by rebelwriter6561



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, M/M, Tattoos, commitment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6471796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelwriter6561/pseuds/rebelwriter6561
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tattoos aren't for everyone. Neither is working in groups. But Ryan learns to like both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lifelong Commitment

**Author's Note:**

> Before you read this story, take a look at this http://fakeahcomics.tumblr.com/post/116428858727/put-on-your-war-paint-guessss-who-hit-5000  
> And I was thinking about how some people (not me) have commitment issues regarding tattoos. And I figured there’s no character with more commitment issues than GTAV!Ryan/Vagabond. So here we go.

The night was young, the adrenaline was still running high, and Geoff had just dug out his strongest booze while Michael and Gavin tried to set up the gaming system one handed. Ryan, watching from the side, observed that they didn't _need_ to do it one-handed, but they were anyway. Jack was finding snacks and Ray was lounging on the couch demanding the snacks. They were all chatty and loose, jokey and laughing with each other.

Ryan felt so awkward. He wanted to leave. Immediately. It wasn't that he didn't like relaxing after a successful heist, within reason, but this was more than a heist celebration. This had a feeling of togetherness, of unity and teamwork. And he wasn't in this team. He was just Vagabond to them, not Ryan, just another gun for hire that they occasionally worked with. He had no place here.

Gavin made a squealing noise when Michael made a swipe at him, clutching his hand to his chest. "Be careful Michael!" he gasped. "It's still tender!" Michael and Geoff started mocking his stupid accent, Ray and Jack laughing in the background. Ryan rolled his eyes behind his mask. This was so domestic it hurt.

"Dude, mine don't even hurt anymore, you're just being a bitch." Ray bragged from the couch. Ryan smirked, moving up behind him as Gavin flipped him an upside-down "A"

"Lemme see," Ryan gestured to his hand, actually somewhat surprised when Ray just put his hand in his. Jeez, he just saved the kid’s life a few times, and suddenly he and Ray were all trusting and buddy-buddy. Ryan observed the younger man's fingers, still a bit red and the ink standing out sharply from his skin. 

What had started as a joke was now a lasting part of these boys. "LADS" was emblazed across his fingers, matching Michael and Gavin's new tattoos, and had the same font as Geoff and Jack's old "GENT" tattoos. Making them, officially, part of the Fake AH Crew.

Ryan eyed them critically. "I mean, it's pretty distinctive, I'll give you that." Ray wrinkled his nose at him and took his hand back.

"Look, just cause you can't rock these babies, doesn't mean you gotta hate. I like them." He said self-defensively, cradling his hand.

"No, I mean…they look fine, but that's a pretty permanent way to declare your allegiance." Ryan shrugged. "Not really my thing, you know?"

"Yeah, I hear you." Ray sighed, watching Gavin and Michael rolling around in front of the TV while Geoff laughed his ass off. "I was nervous, kinda, before, not sure if I wanted to take the plunge now or not, but it just…felt right. And now that I've got them I feel a lot better." Ryan had to agree, Ray even looked happier, especially compared to how he had been earlier that afternoon, whining in the tattooist's chair.

"Well, that's good!" Ryan said encouragingly. "As long as you're happy with it." Ryan knew, given his reputation and how up-front he always was about the fact that his loyalty was available to the highest bidder, he wasn’t expecting an invitation to get a "GENT" tattoo. 

These times he worked with the Fakes, he had to admit, was a pretty nice break from his usual solitary lifestyle. The Fake AH Crew were a bunch of loud crazy assholes, but they’d never stabbed him in the back - a sad achievement. He found himself in moments like this, hanging out and relaxing. He didn’t belong, but they at least included him.

The game system was set up without much more incidents, Jack produced an amazing amount of popcorn, and the crew looked to be settling down for a night of gaming shenanigans. Ryan, while happy for them, felt more and more uncomfortable, because he knew it was time. He'd already stayed too long as it was. He nudged Ray's shoulder.

"Hey, I'm taking off."

"You're leaving?" Ray looked up from his Red Bull. "Like, leaving leaving or just leaving for the night?"

"Actually, I'm leaving leaving." Ray gave him a surprised look. Ryan shrugged. "I've got stuff to do out of town. We've all had a good run, but I need to take off and let you guys do your team bonding stuff." He didn't mention that this was the longest he'd ever been employed by one crew, and that alone made him feel uneasy, but he couldn’t forget that he might be hired to kill on the next job. It was always a possibility.

Ray opened his mouth, to say what, Ryan wasn't sure, but he seemed to reconsider and shrugged. "Alright then, I'll let Geoff know you took off. Come back and hang out when you can, okay?" 

"Yeah, I'll try." Ryan rubbed at Ray's hair as he passed, just to be a shit. "Don't do anything too stupid while I'm gone." Ray swiped at him in retaliation, his fingers startlingly red and black compared to his other hand. Ryan tried to picture his own hand, decorated with his own tattoos, or any identifying marks anywhere on his body. He just couldn't see it, any more than he could see himself being part of a crew.

Ryan turned as he was about to leave. Two Gents and two Lads watched the screen, but Ray was looking over the couch to watch him go. Under his mask, Ryan smiled and waved as he left.

~*~

Thirty minutes. He'd been back in Los Santos for thirty minutes, half of which were spent stuck in traffic, and he was already being subjected to the Fake AH Crew's shenanigans. The car that had just sped past him almost certainly held Team Lads, he recognized their hollering. He waved as they passed, but he didn't think they saw.

He'd been gone half a year, but in his absence, the Fakes had robbed three banks, crashed the military base twice, gotten involved in a major political scandal, and got themselves on top of the Most Wanted list. Ryan was frankly amazed that no one had hired him to off them yet.

Then again, he hadn’t worked with anyone with enough foresight to take advantage of his connections.

The police car chasing the lads was approaching, fast. Ryan thought for a second, then swiped his mask from off the passenger seat and his new rocket launcher from the backseat. Just to be helpful, as the cop car approached, Ryan leaned out the driver's window with the launcher and fired it off. He smiled as the cruiser flipped and crashed, and gunned his own car to make his escape. It was nice to be helpful, even if they weren't a team.

~*~

**Br0wnMan** : dude do u have a rocket launcher? 

**Vagabond** : yes I do actually. Why do you ask? 

**Br0wnMan** : just wondering hows it goin 

**Vagabond** : Pretty good. I'm in town actually. 

**Vagabond** : want to meet up to try out my rocket launcher? I haven't had a good chance to play with it yet 

**Br0wnMan** : F YEH! 

**Br0wnMan** : wait are we talking the gun or your dick? 

**Br0wnMan** : Cause I can help with both 

**Br0wnMan** : either is cool 

**Vagabond** : Just meet me at Geoff's range tomorrow at noon, we'll go from there 

**Vagabond** : :) 

~*~ 

Since when did Ryan become the type of person who sent smiley faces? 

~*~ 

The range was actually the desert. There were lots of cactuses with bullet holes, a posse of wrecked and burnt up cars, and most importantly, no people around for miles. It was, however, hot as shit. Ryan had already shed his usual leather jacket, but he was still sweltering under the mask. 

Ray showed up to the range looking absolutely delighted, and his grin only grew when he saw the straw-stuffed dummy leaning up against the shot up car in the middle of the range. Ryan had also set up targets far out at Ray's usual sniper range, in case Ray wanted to sharpen the skills he already possessed. The launcher waited peacefully on the picnic table. 

It was almost like a god damn date. 

"Vaga-Dude!" Ray yelled as he jumped out of the car. "Long time no see!" Ryan smiled as Ray ducked into the backseat to grab his sniper case and scurried over to him, pulling up just short of running into him. "Nice to see you still alive." 

Ryan chuckled. "Same with you. Heard you guys got up to some shit while I was gone." Ryan led Ray over to the picnic table where the rocket launcher and missiles waited with their ear plugs. Ray eyed them lustfully. The weapons, not the ear plugs. Those were not sexy. 

"Yeah, but we totally handled it like pros." Ray dumped his case and crouched over the rocket launcher. "Where the hell did you get this thing?" 

"I did a guy a favor by removing his head from his body." Ryan winked through his mask when Ray shot him a 'you're full of shit' look. "It doesn't really matter. Now, do you wanna learn how to shoot this thing or not?" 

"Fuck yeah I do!" Ray made grabby hands as Ryan lifted the launcher and handed it to him. He seemed taken aback by the heft of it, his knees buckling a bit under the weight. Ryan grinned madly. 

"I'm sorry, it that a bit too large for you?" he said with a cheeky wink. Ray rolled his eyes at him. 

"I've handled bigger." Ray muttered, awkwardly trying to shift it to his shoulder and craning his neck awkwardly to try to see down its line of sight. Ryan turned his back on him, towards the picnic bench, taking a deep breath as he mentally prepped himself for what he was about to do. 

He took off his mask and placed it on the table. 

"Uhh…" he heard Ray make a confused noise. Ryan turned around with a shit-eating grin, enjoying the look on Ray's face at the sight of the elaborate facepaint. Ray's stunned face shifted into confusion. "What the fuck bro?" he asked with exasperation and bewilderment. 

Ryan shrugged. "Mask restricts too much in the peripherals. And it's hot out here." 

Ray just stared at him, clearly trying to wrap his head around this new development. Ryan picked up two pairs of the ear plugs and offered two to Ray while screwing in his own. Ray juggled the rocket launcher against his shoulder to put them in while Ryan chose a missile. 

After Ray picked up the launcher again, struggling to keep it up and against his shoulder, Ryan loaded the missile for him, being very careful to not stand in front of it. Despite his intense focus on the newly-armed weapon, he noted with some interest that Ray's finger tattoos had healed nicely. 

"Now," he said as he stepped away, "make sure you brace yourself really well. Spread your legs, focus your weight on your lower half, otherwise this thing'll knock you on your ass." 

"Dude, I think I can handle it." Ray rolled his eyes as he clicked the safety off, but struggled to hold the launcher to his shoulder. His balance was compromised, and as Ryan predicted, when the launcher fired with a roar, his aim was too far off, and he ended up on his butt in the sand. 

Ryan leaned over him, fully aware that Ray could now see the cheeky grin he was wearing. "What'd I tell you buddy?" He chuckled at Ray's angry face and offered a hand. 

"Get out of my face, you asshole." Despite his obvious annoyance, Ray took the offered hand and pulled himself up. He dusted off his ass while Ryan chose another missile. 

Once the launcher was armed again, he moved to stand behind Ray, bringing his arms around to help the younger man hold up the weapon. Ray tensed alarmingly as Ryan tucked his elbow's under Ray's, hands covering his over the barrel. 

"Loosen up. You're too tense. You have to move with the recoil, but don't let it push you around." He spoke close to Ray's ear as he flipped the safety off. 

"Try not to get your damn facepaint in my hair." Ray grumbled. Ryan felt him maneuvering the launcher, lifting it into position and craning his neck to look down the sights. Ryan was awed when he could feel Ray's body stilling, slipping into shooting mode and slowing his breaths. Ryan felt himself mirroring the boy's actions, helping his aim and quieting his own breathing. For a long moment, everything was still. 

The shocking roar from the missile was loud even with the gummy earplugs. This time, the kick knocked Ray right back into Ryan's solid chest. Ryan chuckled in appreciation as the dummy and the car burst into flames, Ray mirroring his laugh when he too saw destruction. 

"That…was…fucking amazing! Holy Shit!" Ray whipped his head around to look at Ryan, his face so close that his hair had smacked Ryan when he turned. Ryan released the boy and the weapon and stepped away, not wanting to be so close anymore. "Did you see that shit! Imagine what we could do with a ton of these!" 

“Pure chaos is what.” Ryan remarked dully, eyeing the burning wrecked car. 

“Fuck Yeah!” Ray cheered. “I wanna do that again!” 

The rest of the afternoon was spent pleasantly shooting various cars to smithereens with the launcher, before moving on to sighting Ray’s sniper rifle. Ray kept up a constant stream of jokes and funny stories. Ryan’s sides hurt from laughing, and his face ached from grinning. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had that much fun. 

“So…” Ray started quietly, as the sun began to set on their destruction, “do you wanna come back to the penthouse? I bet Geoff would like to see you. We’ve got some shit coming up that you could be a part of.” He was focused on dismantling his sniper rifle and putting it away, not looking at Ryan. 

“Yeah, I could.” Ryan considered it. He wasn’t exactly desperate for work, and while his jobs with the the Fake AH Crew were usually very profitable, the crew itself was exhausting to work with, present company excluded. “You can let Geoff know I’m in town, I’m available, if he wants to pay.” 

“Oh, yeah.” For some reason, Ray sounded dejected.”Do you think- I mean, would you ever consider being part of a crew? Like, full time?” 

“You know, I’ve thought about it a few times, I’m not gonna lie.” Ryan stared at the sunset, not to be dramatic, but because it was very beautiful out in the desert. He rarely got to appreciate it. “It would depend on the crew. A lot of them suck, some of them are decent, but i haven’t found one I’d be comfortable spending all my time with. Because that’s what’s most important to me right now.” 

“Yeah, I get it, you’re the kinda guy who likes his own space.” Ray nodded in agreement. Ryan felt relief, that Ray actually understood what he was saying, and wasn’t mad about it. “Well, look, if you ever stop by to hang with us, Geoff just paid a buttload to make a bunch of rooms soundproof, so we don’t have to listen to Gavin and Michael being assholes.” 

“Oh, that is tempting.” Ryan smiled. “I’ll keep you guys in mind if I ever decide to settle down.” That was a bad way of phrasing it, and he had to stop himself from grimacing - he had no mask to block the expression. There would never be any real “settling down” for him. It was either the job or death. 

“Or, ya know, like I said, even if you want to just hang out without blowing shit up.” Ray’s quiet hesitation in his offer was endearing, and Ryan smiled. Ray glanced up, say Ryan’s smile, and returned it with his usual blinding grin. For all the risk Ryan took by taking his mask off, he was glad that Ray could finally see him smile. 

Ryan kept Ray’s words in mind as they ended the day driving away in opposite directions. He hadn’t found a crew he’d settle down for yet, but if he could find someone like Ray, he didn’t think it would be so bad. 

~*~ 

Ryan hated this part. 

“Gavin, for the love of god, stop dicking around and GET IN POSITION, god dammit!” Michael was screaming on the other end of the line, and Ryan could hear Jack and Geoff also chewing him out. Even over the noise, he could hear Ray's exasperated sigh. 

“No, no, look, I'm telling you, if we have a rocket launcher this will be so easier!” Gavin protested. “Vagabond has one, if he just goes and-” 

“I already fucking told you, I'm not letting you touch my launcher!” Ryan snapped. “Out of the question. Just get your ass over to Michael!” 

“You let Ray shoot it!” Gavin squawked. Over the com, Ray burst out laughing. 

“That's cause Vagabond trusts me to handle his rocket!” Ryan groaned as the team burst out laughing. They were at the start of a heist, and there was, as always, a very likely chance they’d all die, and they were making more dick jokes. 

“Guys, we can talk about Vagabond’s massive rocket later,” Geoff interrupted, still laughing. “Let’s get this job over with, okay? Gavin are you in position or not?” 

“I’m getting there!” Gavin shouted right in Ryan’s ear, and he winced. He was already getting a Fake AH Crew headache. Why did he team up with these guys again? 

“Hey Vaga,” Ray’s voice in his ear sounded so close, even though he was several rooftops away. “If you want any help kicking Gavin’s ass when we’re done here, I’ve totally got your back bro.” 

“Thanks, Ray.” Ryan said with a smile, over Gavin’s protests. It was nice to know at least someone on this team was there for him. 

~*~ 

Ryan was on the East coast, the furthest distance he could possibly be from Los Santos, with a miserable cold, when Ray sent him a text. 

**Br0wnMan** : dude can u get me some nachos? I have such a craving right now 

**Vagabond** : ...u know im in new york, right? 

Ryan’s phone was silent for a few minutes, during which Ryan finished his orange juice and contemplated death. Finally, his phone buzzed in his lap. 

**Br0wnMan** : What are u doing in New York? 

**Vagabond** : I got hired by the dumbest crew imginable. Seeriously you have no idea...half of them were killed in 5 minutes into the heist. 

**Vagabond** : Seriously theyre worse than Gavin 

**Vagabond** : Remind me to never accept jobs from crews i don’t know anymore 

**Br0wnMan** : well shit. Can you come back and bring me nachos? 

**Vagabond** : Why can’t you get your own nachos? 

**Br0wnMan** : I can’t fucking walk. Got a bullet to the leg. 

**Br0wnMan** : just a graze 

**Br0wnMan** : I am on all of the drugs right now 

**Vagabond** : tough break buddy. I have the head cold from hell 

**Br0wnMan** : fucking bummer dude. Cry me a river. Why don’t you come back so we cn be miserable together? 

**Br0wnMan** : I’ll give you a handjob if you give me nachos 

Ryan had to stop to blow his nose, as he considered their conversation. He wasn’t sure if Ray was flirting with him because he was bored or because he was high on drugs. Neither option was unheard of. 

**Vagabond** : How does a serving of nachos equal a handjob? Those are either really amazing nachos or a really shitty handjob. 

**Br0wnMan** : Dude you can’t call my handjobs shitty without expereincing them. 

**Br0wnMan** : Also all nachos are amazing 

**Vagabond** : IDK man, I've had some really shorty nachos 

**Vagabond** : *shitty 

**Br0wnMan** : Shorty Nachos is my stripper name 

**Vagabond** : I thought it was Puerto Rican Thunder? 

**Br0wnMan** : Yours is Skeletor 

**Br0wnMan** : I bet you have a skull tramp stamp. 

**Vagabond** : That sounds amazing. Now i want to get one. 

**Vagabond** : How do you know Vagabond isn't my stripper name? You don't know what I get up to when I'm not with your crew. 

**Br0wnMan** : I've seen your makeup, you're def a drag queen 

**Vagabond** : When I come back fo Los Santos I'll give you a lapdance with your nachos 

**Br0wnMan** : FUCK YES! 

**Br0wnMan** : Why Vagabond? What does it fucking mean? 

**Vagabond** : I came up with it so stupid people would ask that question 

**Br0wnMan** : Wow. Fuckin rude 

**Vagabond** : Seriously, it pisses people off when i don’t give them my name or don’t tell them what it means. And i like pissing people off. 

**Br0wnMan** : Yeah u do. 

**Vagabond** : My real name is so stupidly vanilla and boring no one would take me seriously if i went around like that 

**Vagabond** : seriously think of the most boring inconspicuous name you can and you’ll be really close 

Ryan knew, in the part of his mind that wasn’t plugged with mucus, that this was dangerous. His name (names) was so common that Ray could probably guess it in the first ten guesses. 

**Br0wnMan** : Nah, Vagabond suits you. But it would fucking figure you’d have some totally normal-ass name. 

**Br0wnMan** : I bet you’re also a totally generic dude under the mask and paint. 

**Br0wnMan** : I bet you wear sweater vests when you’re not on the job 

**Vagabond** : The day i wear a sweatervest is the day I die 

**Vagabond** : And don’t knock looking orninary. It help more than you think when I go undercover 

**Br0wnMan** : Creepy. 

**Br0wnMan** : you think I can beat Gavin at Halo high on meds? 

**Vagabond** : Absolutely 

**Vagabond** : Good luck 

There was no reply for a while, and Ryan wondered if he’d gone too far. What was too far for him and Ray? They were occasional crew-mates, but they were also kind of friends? And they flirted? 

He knew he was tempting fate by teasing his name to Ray. His friend would get curious, and his curiosity would take him down a dark path if he tried to find it himself. It would almost be easier for him to just tell Ray his name. 

Half-asleep, thinking about Ray calling him by his real name, he was startled when his phone buzzed. It was Ray again. 

**Br0wnMan** : I kicked Gavin’s ass. It was brutal. I’m unstoppable 

**Br0wnMan** : Jack aslo made me nachos. So now i sleep 

**Vagabond** : Sleep well buddy. Don’t fuck up your leg more 

**Vagabond** : I think I’ll be back in town next week. I’ll bring you the best damn nachos you’ve ever had. 

**Br0wnMan** : You’re the best 

**Br0wnMan** : :) 

**Vagabond** : :) 

~*~ 

“You know, you of all people don’t have to be here.” 

Ryan gave Geoff a cool stare from out of his mask. This was the most casual he’d ever seen the Fake’s boss, slouching on a beat-up couch, wearing a faded pair of sweats and a t-shirt instead of his usual suit. Geoff was nursing a drink, as usual, but it seemed that their hideout only had beer, rather than the hard liquor Geoff usually preferred. 

Geoff did have a point though. The authorities were looking for a masked madman running with a notorious gang of criminals, not the average-looking civilian he was when he took off his mask. He had no reason to stick around this hideout with the rest of the Crew. He had other jobs waiting for him, he had to take stock after this haul, he had plenty of things he could be doing. And yet, here he was, just hanging out. 

Things had changed, over the last year or so. More jobs with the Crew, less jobs with other gangs, because he was having a hard time tolerating their stupidity. Apparently he wasn’t willing to put up with bullshit unless it was coming from these guys. 

All things considered, though, this wasn’t the worst time he’d had laying low after a heist. The safehouse was well equipped with video games and junk food, and Gavin and Michael were both relatively subdued while they were recovering from road rash after crashing during the escape. Geoff and Jack were welcoming and laid-back, and in all it was actually pretty relaxing. 

Best of all, Ray was obviously enjoying their time hanging out. Ever since their conversation in the desert, and subsequent half-high texts, Ray had made it his mission to convince Ryan to join their gang. He would text Ryan at random times listing the perks of teaming up with the Fakes. But since it was Ray, his reasons went along the lines of fajitas, video games, queso, lots of weapons lying around. He was pretty convincing. 

They also had entire conversations in emojis, just for the fun of it. 

“This is actually a test of my endurance.” Ryan deadpanned. “If I can put up with all of you for a week then I can handle anything.” He was joking, but at the same time was semi-serious. Even hanging out and joking with no ulterior motive was a new experience for him. If it were any other crew he would feel uneasy about being so familiar with with them, but things had changed. There really was no point in denying it. 

These past few weeks with the Fakes, with heists nearly back to back, confirmed how well Ryan worked with the boys. Ray of course was a given, but Geoff was a remarkably skilled strategist, and Jack always had such a pleased look on his face when they successfully teamed up. Gavin and Michael were still leery of him - Gavin because he was still scared of him and Michael because he was always distrusting - but when it came down to it they always had his back. It was a new experience, but one he liked. 

Geoff laughed, relaxing next to Ryan. “Yeah, these guys are a load of assholes, not gonna lie. But kinda endearing, you know?” He took a slow sip from his drink. “They kinda grow on you after a while.” 

“So do fucking tumors.” Geoff laughed his ass off at Ryan’s totally original joke, but Ryan was pleased anyway. Geoff had a great laugh, that could not be denied. Ray looked over from the video game he was playing and grinned too, so Ryan winked from behind his mask. 

Geoff quieted, and Ryan realized things had gotten serious. “Listen, I know you and Ray have been texting. I’m just gonna say, if you ever wanted to join up...I feel like you’ve already proved you’re trustworthy enough. Which I honestly can’t believe I just said to your face, but whatever.” 

Ryan gave Geoff a surprised look. “Wow, did you really just invite me to join the crew? That’s...unexpected. Shouldn’t you ask me on a date first?” 

“Nah, I think Ray’s got that covered. But seriously, man,” Geoff gave him a look that was meant to be serious, but half-drunk, he seemed to have a hard time focusing. “I feel like you deserve it, even if you don’t wanna join. Ya know, to let you know we we trust you. Trust is a big deal for us. We're family. So if you wanna keep this up, you gotta commit.” 

“So, do you want me to join? Or are you kicking me out? Out of a crew I’m not even a part of?” Ryan frowned behind his mask, not even sure if he should be pissed off or not. It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered it before, but he didn’t like the implication that he should join just because he was becoming friendlier with them. 

“I’m just saying, it’d probably make Ray really happy if you stopped disappearing to the other side of the country.” Ryan closed his eyes, mentally kicking himself. He knew it was a bad idea to get close to the kid. This is what happens when you text in emoji. 

But Ray hadn’t told him to knock it off yet… 

“...and you gotta admit we work pretty well as a team, so there’s really no reason for you not to join. Unless you got another crew you’re cheating on us with. But that’s your decision. No one’s gonna fucking hold you down and forcibly tattoo you.” Geoff finished, staring at Ryan rather intensely. 

Ryan frowned uneasily. This pressure from Geoff was actually making his stomach curl. He did want to be a part of the Crew more, to spend time with Ray, but at the same time he really did not want to be tied down. His own life and his own priorities were more important to him than being a part of this little “family”. Being torn in two directions like this...it felt like the decision he had faced when he first started his criminal life. 

The desire to leave, and the reluctance to actually go. 

“I don’t know if I’m cool enough to rock those finger tattoos.” Ryan muttered, deflecting the conversation and hiding behind his Diet Coke. Geoff snorted and stretched out his own hand to admire his ink, the original GENT looking faded next to the other random symbols Geoff added over time. 

“Yeah, not everyone can handle these babies.” Geoff agreed. “There’s really no takebacks.” He took his own pensive sip of beer. “Look, I know it’s a lot to ask from a guy, I remember how much Michael and Jack were on the fence about joining. I’m not saying you gotta commit to it now, but...if you’re ever tired of dealing with other gang’s bullshit, you at least know know we’re bearable.” 

“Yeah, I already figured that out.” Ryan agreed, watching Ray decimate Gavin in their game. “But that’s not the only reason.” He couldn’t even explain what that reason was, besides just wanting to keep his own life separate. But even that desire was fading. 

It seemed that Geoff understood his reluctance much like Ray had. He didn’t think Geoff would bribe him with cheesy goodness, but the semi-official invitation was there if he ever wanted to take him up on it. 

**Ray cheered when he completed the level, while Gavin rolled around in agony. “Do the rest of the crew know about this invitation?” Ryan asked quietly. He couldn’t imagine that Michael and Gavin were thrilled about this.**

“Eh, I’ll tell them if you accept. Otherwise don’t worry about it man.” Geoff got off the couch, stretching and groaning. “God I’m too old for this shit.” He muttered. “The heat should be off us by tomorrow, so you can go on your merry way or whatever.” Ryan nodded as Geoff walked off. Turning his attention back to the tv, he met Ray’s eyes. 

“Are you gonna stick around?” Ray asked quietly, and Ryan hated how it made him feel. He shrugged, not willing to admit to his soul-searching. The day may come soon that he would take Geoff up on his offer - an offer he never ever thought he would get - but it wouldn’t be today. He needed more time to himself. 

~*~ 

Another heist, another drunken celebration, but a different crew. This was Chicago, cold and rainy and this was not the Fake AH Crew. Not that Ryan had exclusive loyalty to them, but he rather wished he was there and not here. This gang had money, they had connections, they had some really nice weapons, but they were assholes, and not the manageable assholes he was used to. This had been one of the worst heists Ryan had ever been a part of - even worse than the New York job. 

Ryan watched the mingled company of lowlifes from behind his mask. They were arguing over cuts, even though they were had already established that at the beginning of the heist. Most were already drunk, and he watched from his spot in the corner as three of them snorted god knows what up their noses. Ryan squeezed his water tightly, fingers squeaking against the glass. He was more out of place here than he was with the Fakes. 

He didn’t miss them. He wasn’t comparing this mess to the organized chaos back in Los Santos. He wasn’t thinking about how, if he was back in Geoff’s apartment, he would at least have someone who wasn’t getting drunk or high to talk to. And he’d want to talk with him, and make fun of the others when they started messing around. 

The sound of chairs scraping back jerked him back to the shitty meeting. The so-called boss was on his feet, face to face with one of his thugs. They were screaming at each other like soccer moms in the middle of a match. Ryan rolled his eyes and kicked the table between them, forcing them apart. 

“Can you just give me my damn money?” He snapped. He had no time for this fucking nonsense, he had other jobs waiting for him. The gang boss glared at him. 

“You wait your damn turn, you fuckin’ weirdo.” He growled, sitting back down. “Money cuts stay as discussed, anyone have a problem they can get out without it.” Ryan sighed as the rest grumbled and moaned, as if there was some great injustice being committed here. Ryan pulled out his piece of shit work phone, turning it on for the first time today. 

“Hey, what the fuck did I say about cell phones?!” The boss’ second in command was suddenly in his face, but Ryan slapped his hand with a knife when he reached for Ryan’s phone. Paranoid bastard had insisted on no electronics during the heist, but Ryan glared him down now. 

“Heist is over. Get the fuck out of my face.” Ryan snarled. “You don’t fucking like it just pay me and I’ll get out of here.” Ryan was fed up and ready to leave, except this stupid crew was piss-farting around and preventing that from happening. His phone lit up and buzzed in his hand, but he didn’t lose eye contact with the asshole in front of him. This was nothing he hadn’t dealt with before. 

“Turn it off until you leave the area.” The boss snapped. Ryan rolled his eyes and made a show of hitting the power button. The second wisely backed away from his face and Ryan took as deep a breath he could take behind his mask. His list of cew he was willing to work with was growing smaller and smaller. Soon he would have no choice but to join up with the Fakes. Or he was going to fucking retire and wear sweater vests for the rest of his life. 

Ryan watched with critical eyes as his share was dealt out with the rest. Even the druggies were watching paying close attention. He thumbed his phone’s power button again. The second in command was so out of touch he didn’t realize Ryan hadn’t even turned it off completely. It buzzed in his hand again, and he looked down in confusion. 

It’s tiny screen was alive with messages. All from the Fakes. Ryan felt a stirring of concern as he opened the first message. It was from Ray. 

**Br0wnMan** : ARE YOU STILL ALIVE??!!!! PLEASE! 

Somewhat alarmed, Ryan scrolled up to the older messages. 

**Br0wnMan** : answer me! Please! 

**Br0wnMan** : if you’re still with that team you need to run! Dude you gotta fucking get away from thm 

**Br0wnMan** : you need to get out of there 

**Br0wnMan** : Vagabond please answer your phonee! 

**Br0wnMan** : Vagabond are you out on heist? This other crew is out to get them theyre gonna get you too 

**Br0wnMan** : We heard someone was after that crew you talked about 

**Br0wnMan** : Are you in Chicago? 

There were more messages, from Geoff and Jack but he didn’t take the time to read them. He was walking towards the door, not stopping when he heard the gang yelling after him. He broke into a run when he heard tires screeching outside. 

Ryan burst out the back door, vaulting off the deck into the dark backyard as shots rang out in the dark. 

~*~ 

**Vagabond** : thanks for the warning 

**Br0wnMan** : :) 

~*~ 

" _Stop!_ …Dude, stop! We have to go back! Stop, please!" 

Ryan ignored his Ray's shouts, and his frantic smacks at his shoulders. He focused on the motorcycle, blowing through stoplights and weaving through cars. He didn't hear sirens following them, but it was only a matter of time. 

The heist had gone to shit, and that was before the cops showed up. He heard Geoff yelling at everyone to get out, so he had grabbed Ray and hauled ass. He saw Gavin running with cops right on his tail, heard loud gunshots from Jack's direction, and then they'd taken off, Ray screaming at him the whole time. The coms had gone silent soon after, and they didn’t have cell phones, and even if they did, they couldn’t use them or they’d attract police. They had no way of knowing who lived or who was dead or caught. 

But there was no going back. Ryan had been in the game long enough to know when it was over. Most of the time he was already far away when got fucked up, or he was the one behind it. This was the first time he'd had company for his getaway. 

"Ryan we have to help them! Please!" Ray punctuated his words with harder hits to Ryan's back, almost falling off it the process. Ryan reached one hand back and gripped his upper thigh. 

"Ray, stop! There’s nothing we can do" he spoke loud enough to be heard over the roar of the engine. Ray slumped against his back, finally quiet, but Ryan could feel the way his arms tightened around his waist, his face pressed against him. He remembered how tightly Ray had grabbed him when he returned from Chicago, bruised and bloody but alive. It hurt to think how close he’d come to never seeing Ray again. 

They rolled into the garage at Ryan's safe house, and Ray pushed himself away from the bike as soon as they parked. Ryan followed him as he stormed into the house, breathing heavily. 

"We should've stayed, man," Ray fumed, pacing around the kitchen. Ryan sighed as he pulled his mask off, rubbing his hair to un-smush it. His facepaint felt cold and tacky when it was exposed to the air. "We could've taken them! We gotta go back, we need to find out what happened, we might need to bust them out of-” 

“Ray, stop!” Ryan snapped. Ray froze, looking shocked and confused and scared. Ryan swallowed his guilt at yelling at him and walked up to him, grabbing his shoulders firmly. “We can’t be panicking about this, okay? Right now, we need to get out of Los Santos. I’ve got a jump bag already packed, if you go clear out my weapons rooms I’ll get food and we can be on the road in five, but we need to get moving, now.” 

Ray stared at him with a devastated look. “Ryan. I can't just run off with you! Our crew is out there right now, they could be hurt, they might be caught already. We can’t just leave! They need our help!" 

“Absolutely not!” Ryan snapped. “We can’t do anything for them. If we go out there now we’ll be caught too.” Ray was shaking his head, and Ryan gripped his shoulders harder, shaking him slightly. Why couldn’t Ray get this? “This is how it works, Ray. When things go wrong you have to cut your losses and run, okay. We have to leave now before someone comes after us.” 

“NO!” Ray shoved him away, throwing his left hand in Ryan’s face. “We can’t just fucking abandon them! Look!" Ray screamed at him, the inked letters on his fingers inches from Ryan’s eyes. "I'm _part_ of this team, okay? I have to go back!" 

“If you go back out there you’ll get caught or you’ll die.” Ryan’s throat tightened. He knew, with as much certainty that going back for the Fakes was suicide, that he couldn’t let Ray get killed. That went against every instinct in his body that was telling him to just leave Ray and go, but that feeling was overpowering, and he couldn’t fight it. “I’m not letting you go to get killed.” He spoke with as finality as he could, but Ray’s angry tearful face weakened his words. 

Ray dropped his hand, stepping close to Ryan and putting his face right up to his. "I don’t give a shit. They’re my family - I have to help them! I can't just run away from my problems like you always fucking do!" He spat darkly. 

Ryan couldn’t move as Ray stomped away. He heard a door close, and guessed Ray barricaded himself in the weapons room. Anyone else and he’d be concerned for his safety, but it was Ray. And he couldn’t think like that. 

His legs felt twitchy, humming with adrenaline and ready to run. But he couldn’t leave without Ray. On autopilot, he raided his cabinets and fridge, grabbing everything perishable and taking it to the car. He found the first aid kit in the bathroom, and threw his toiletries into it. The jump bag from the hall closet and he was packed. He felt a pang of dismay, that he didn’t actually have many things he valued. Besides his guns, his mask, and a smart-mouth Puerto Rican. 

His mind was churning, trying to find a solution that didn’t involve their asses being killed. He considered how hard it would be to actually pick up Ray and carry him to the car, but he was pretty sure his friend wouldn’t appreciate that. He couldn’t drive off without him either, but he couldn’t leave him to die. 

There was only one solution. And he hated it. 

~*~ 

Ryan waited outside the door of his weapons stash. He knew Ray couldn’t get out the window because he had nailed them down when he moved in. He was just considering knocking when the door opened. Ray’s hood was up and he was covered in weapons. His eyes were on the floor. 

“I’m fucking going back, ok? Fuck you, if you don’t let me leave I’ll kick your ass. If you try to drag me out of here I’ll fucking shoot you. Don’t think i won’t” Ray sounded exhausted but determined, and Ryan didn’t doubt him for a second. 

“Ray, look at me.” He said quietly. Ray jerked his head to the side, refusing to look at him, and Ryan sighed, reaching out to cup Ray’s face. He didn’t apply pressure or force Ray to move, but Ray reluctantly dragged his eye’s to meet Ryan’s. His eyes widened as he took in Ryan’s paint-free appearance. 

“I need you to trust me with this, okay?” Ryan spoke firmly, keeping his eyes locked on Ray. “We’ll drive back to town, but we can’t be obvious about it. We’ll get as close as we can to figure out what’s going on, and if there’s anything we can do. If there isn’t, or if we get discovered, I’m driving our asses out of here and you aren’t gonna argue with me. Got it?” 

_This is a bad idea_ , he thought miserably, but Ray’s hopeful look, and his frantic nodding, confirmed his decision. This was the right thing to do. 

~*~ 

Of course, it turned out the rest of the crew made it out just fine, and were lying low in their own hideout. Geoff chewed their asses out for coming back, saying they should have bolted and ran, or at least stayed hidden. But it was worth it to see Ray nearly collapse in relief at seeing his crew safe again. 

~*~ 

“Hey man, I just wanted to say, sorry for freaking out at you, back in the hideout.” Ray sounded miserable, his voice nearly overwhelmed by the wind. The top of the penthouse was brutally exposed to the wind, freezing cold without the blazing sun, the sharp air biting at his exposed face. They were both bundled up to keep warm, and Ryan though Ray looked adorable hunched up in his hoodie and beanie, except for the sad expression on his face. 

Ryan shrugged off Ray’s words. “It’s understandable. I don’t blame you for getting upse-” 

Ray cut him off. “No, look, it’s not about me being upset. I said stuff I really shouldn’t have, about you always leaving. Like, I wanted to go back and punch myself in the face right after I said it. It was a really sucky thing and I’m really sorry I said it.” 

Ryan was surprised, but extremely pleased at the same time. It was rare to get a true apology out of anyone these days, whether they were in the business or not. He hadn't been expecting one from Ray. 

“Well, I accept your apology buddy. It’s not shit I’ve never heard before.” Ryan could tell that Ray wasn’t happy with that answer, but that didn’t really matter anymore. He spoke before Ray had a chance. “Did you know Geoff offered me a place in the crew a while back?” 

Ray stared at him. “He _did_? Are you serious?! Like, officially?” 

“As officially as we get around here.” Ryan nodded, enjoying the look on Ray's face. He had looked hopeful for a brief moment, but now he was clearly struggling to stay cool. 

“So, uh, what did you say?” Ray still sounded quiet and hesitant, and Ryan wanted to give him an affectionate shake. They'd been dancing around this too long, and most of that was his own fault, but it was time to own up. 

“I haven't said yes to him yet, but I haven't seen him since I got back. I'll probably tell him i’m in tonight.” Ryan watch with a grin as a smile spread across Ray’s face, growing bigger until the boy was actually hopping with joy. 

“Oh my god, are you serious?! This is awesome dude! We can hang out and play video games, I can take you to all the best taco stands, we’re gonna fucking terrorize this town man!” Ray was practically dancing in place with joy, and Ryan reached out to wrap an arm around his shoulders to hold him still. 

“I’m glad you’re excited, and I want you to know, this is partially your fault.” Ray looked up, grinning, his face very close to Ryan’s and his body warm under his arm. Ryan also felt Ray’s arms wrap around his waist, and tightened the arm around his shoulders. “You’re one of the more tolerable people I’ve worked with, so it just makes sense to stick around with you guys.” Ray’s smile turned into a shit-eating smirk. 

“Fucking perfect, man. Gavin and Michael are gonna be pissed!” Ray’s eyes were bright with happiness, and if Ryan knew how happy this would make Ray, he would have joined up ages ago. “Geoff will totally let you in too, I wonder if he’s gonna make you get the tats too?” 

“Actually…” Ryan stretched his left hand out and released Ray’s shoulder to pull off his glove. Ray looked at his hand in shock, seeing the undeniable proof. 

“You actually did it,” he whispered, reaching out to touch the letters. Ray's tattooed fingers rested lightly against Ryan's new tats, cold against his skin. The font on Ryan's fingers matched the lad’s exactly, though his of course said “GENTS”. 

“Yep, I went all out.” Ryan eyed his ink critically. They were already healed and flush to Ryan’s skin, looking as if they'd been there for ages. It was still strange to see them, but he was slowly getting used to it. “So now you guys are really stuck with me.” Ray was still resting his hand on Ryan’s bare fingers, so he closed his hand around the younger’s, protecting him from the cold. 

“Real talk, Ray, for serious right now. I’m not joking about joining because of you.” Ray’s smile faded at Ryan’s serious tone, and he stared at Ryan’s face, trying to determine if he was serious. And Ryan was. He pulled Ray closer by their joined hands, so Ray’s face was pressed against his neck, chest to chest. He released his grip on Ray’s hand to wrap it around his waist, smiling when Ray relaxed against him again. 

“You know, if anyone else had said those things to me, they wouldn't be alive.” Ryan whispered into Ray’s hair. “And you've seen me without my mask and paint. Kinda a big deal, you know.” Ray was quiet against him, warm and close enough that Ryan could feel his chest moving against him. “I’m not saying that’s the reason I’m joining, because I was all set to do that anyway, but I trusted you not to screw me over after I showed you my face, and you didn’t. That means a lot to me.” 

“I still shouldn’t have said that shit,” Ray muttered against his shirt. “Like, I still feel bad about it.” Ray took a deep breath and pulled back a bit, so he could see Ryan’s face again. “But you’re part of our crew now, our family, and you did take me back to find them. You know how important this crew is to me, and how much that all mattered…” Ray trailed off, eyeing Ryan’s unpainted face, and Ryan had a sudden realization about what he was about to do. 

Ryan beat him to it. His first kiss with Ray went exactly as he expected, very gentle and soft. Ray’s body relaxed against him, letting all his weight rest against Ryan, which made him to hum in delight. It felt as though they had been working up to this for some time, but now that this was happening, Ryan couldn’t be happier. 

It lasted until another gust of wind hit Ray from behind, pushing him harder into Ryan and making him shiver. Ryan pulled back and gave Ray a gentle shove towards the door to the stairs. “Let’s take this downstairs,” he muttered. “I gotta let Geoff know I’m staying whether he likes it or not.” 

Ray grinned at him like a crazy person, and grabbed his tattooed hand to pull him down the stairs. "So do we have to keep calling you your code name?" Ryan shrugged. He hadn't even considered that. 

"You can call me Ryan if you want, but don't tell everyone else just yet. They don't get to know." Ryan said with a cheeky wink. It was so surprisingly easy to tell Ray his name after all. 

_Maybe_ , Ryan thought, _maybe I'll tell him about the other tattoo_. Whether it happened that night or not, sooner or later Ray would see the other tattoo Ryan got, the perfect little rose inked over his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> http://blasphemous-lies-and-deceit.tumblr.com/


End file.
